This article is edited by a professional wedding consultant.

Eating is a celebration in itself, especially at a wedding reception. Your guests may not remember many of the small details of the wedding, but they will remember a good meal. As with many parts of a wedding, there are just a few common sense catering etiquette guidelines and then most of the choices are a matter of your own tastes - no pun intended.

If you prefer high tradition, then you may lean towards something classic like filet mignon, salmon mousse, and chocolate-dipped strawberries. However, depending on your family customs and background, ethnic cuisine can be more affordable, interesting, and memorable.

The Reception Meal and Venue

The time, type, and service of the meal is guided by the theme and the location of your wedding. A small reception area will have more limitations than a reception area that is large. You should acquire the input of your coordinator and caterer to help with these decisions.

Time and type of meal - If your wedding is in the late afternoon or evening and is very formal, then the type of meal may tend to be formal, such as sit down dinner. If your wedding is late morning or early afternoon and casual, then a brunch or dessert may be more fitting.

Traditionally, dinner / supper is the wedding reception meal of choice. However, there are many other options that are less costly and can provide a unique ambiance at the reception. Consider other options such as a breakfast, brunch, lunch, afternoon tea, evening cocktails, or a dessert only. This writer had an early afternoon San Diego wedding followed by a mid-afternoon light lunch reception including several light desserts. We carefully informed all the guests they may want to eat lunch before attending the wedding. This resulted in a very inexpensive yet elegant celebration.

Service of meal - How the meal is served is of some importance. There are generally three options, although each option has many different variations that your caterer should be able to offer.

• Hors d'oeuvres / finger food - Staff bring light foods finger foods to the guests as they are seated or standing.
• Buffet - Guests select their own foods or desserts from one or more buffet tables. This might also include service stations for fun and interesting foods such as crepes or ice cream sundaes, which are assembled by staff based on the guest selections. Buffet tables and service stations take up more room in a reception area, so the space must be considered carefully.
• Seated meal venue - Staff serves guests directly at their tables. The seated meal is usually more formal and traditional.

The Bar and Alcohol

There is a general consensus that cash bars (where guests pay for their own alcohol drinks) are not very good etiquette. You should look at your guests as your guests, not paying customers. For example, most people would not ask their beloved aunt to pay for a glass of wine at their home, so why treat them any different as a guest at the most important event of their life?

One of the major concerns is how to pay for alcohol, especially for families that love to drink at a wedding. If you anticipate large alcohol consumption, then here are some tips:

• Negotiate a flat fee bar service with the caterer.
• Purchase the alcohol yourself via a discount superstore.
• Negotiate the return of un-opened bottles.
• Ask the caterer to not serve drinks at tables unless guests specifically request it.
• Require new bottles not be opened unless open bottles are completely emptied.

Safety etiquette suggests that you stop serving alcohol about ½ hour before the reception is due to end. This will save you money, but more importantly provides safety to your guests by stopping the drinking before they try to drive home.

Caterers

Here are the top questions to ask to help you screen and select the best caterer / vendor for you.

1. Health rating and licenses - This can determine cleanliness, health, and legality.


• What is their current rating by the state health department?
• Do they have a license to sell alcohol?
• Do they have liability insurance?
• Are they affiliated with professional organizations?
• Do they have references?
2. Price - Ask for a price list and options.


• How are foods and meals priced - by each guest? By a minimum number that attend?
• Are children's prices lower?
• Can you get at refund if less guests attend than anticipated?
• For alcoholic drinks, are there options such as negotiating a total food and beverage price or a flat fee for bar service?
• Can you purchase and supply your own alcohol?
• What is the minimum cost of a bar setup?
• Is there a wine corking fee?
• Is delivery of food and alcohol included?
• Are there any extra (or hidden) charges?
3. Dates available - Lock in your date as early as possible.


• Are they available on your wedding date?
4. Freshness and Quality - This ensures the food is fresh and the highest quality.


• Can you taste samples?
• How close to the time of the wedding will the food be made?
• How will the food be kept fresh and unspoiled?
• Do they have a quality guarantee?
5. Location and Service - This confirms the environment is consistent with your theme and service is available.


• Are they familiar with your reception location? If so, are there any special issues you should consider?
• How will the staff be dressed?
• Who will be available if problems arise?

May the aroma and tastes of our life together permeate your wedding reception and create wonderful tasty memories for your family and friends.

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