This article is edited by a professional wedding consultant.

The term "toast" is from an old French custom where a piece of bread was placed in the bottom of the wine cup, for flavor.

There are generally two wedding occasions during where formal toasts will be made - the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. Though there are many people who may participate in the wedding toasts, it is important that three people do it well - the Groom, the Best Man, and the Maid of Honor. Others that may specifically choose to give a toast are the parents of the Bride and Groom.

The Preparation

• Prepare ahead of time - this is an event at which you want to be careful.
• Preparation will make sure you don't say something negative which may spontaneously slip into your mind like, "I hope your marriage doesn't end in divorce like mine."
• Practice the toast so you don't stumble or say things you later regret, especially if you will be drinking before the toast. Read your toast to a friend to polish it.
• Identify your relationship to the bride and groom. Everyone may not know your significance in their lives.
• A quote is a good beginning. Look at the quotes throughout our web site for some ideas.
• Tell a brief touching, personal story - such as how the bride and groom met, how you met either of them, or some other memorable event.
• Use a few descriptive adjectives, hitting the most important points, i.e., she's lovely, warm hearted, and gentle. Don't give a long list of characteristics.
• Use tasteful humor and not trendy jokes that only a few people will understand. Be inclusive for as many as possible, not exclusive to a few.
• Stay PG-rated in case children are present.
• Do not talk about past romantic relationships or past marriages.
• End on a serious and highly positive note with a wish, a blessing, congratulations, or cheers!. For instance:
• "To the bridge and groom"!
• "Please join me in toasting to Mr. and Mrs. [name]."
• "May you live a long and prosperous life together."
• Things not to do - it could get you into big trouble.
• Use one liner jokes that get laughs at parties.
• Tell risqué jokes.
• Tell trendy jokes that many people won't understand.
• Tell ex-girlfriend / boyfriend stories.
• Make fun of the bride.
• Make the groom or bride look like a slacker, loser, or drunkard.
• Ramble on about the good old days.

The Toast

1. The crowd will usually be called to attention using a traditional attention getter like clinking a glass with a utensil or the DJ, bandleader, or Master of Ceremonies announcing that toasting will begin.
2. Stand to deliver - in honor of giving a toast. Sit to receive - if a toast is given to you, sit as a spectator.
3. Make sure all the glasses are full before you begin and indicate everyone should have a glass to participate. Those that don't drink alcohol can have water or sparkling cider in their glass.
4. Limit your toast to about 3-5 minutes long.
5. Keep eye contact with the bride and groom as you deliver - everything is done in their honor.
6. End with raising your glass, prompting everyone else to do the same, with your closing toast.
7. Sit down promptly so the next person can proceed.

The Order of Toasts

1. The best man toasts the bride.
2. The bride toasts the groom.
3. The groom toasts the bride's mother.
4. The bride's father toasts the groom's parents.

1. The best man toasts the Bride and Groom.
2. The Groom toasts the Bride and her family.
3. The (two) father(s) toast the Bride and Groom.
4. The Bride and Groom toast each other.

The Groom

If you want to toast several people, keep these key people in mind:

• Your Bride
• Your in-laws
• Your parents

Though some families use humor and sarcasm as a way of being intimate, this may be a time to be very careful - be classy and careful about what you say. Play it safe and don't refer to the bill for the wedding, difficulties during the planning, or anything that could be misconstrued as a negative comment. If you are not sure if something should be said, ask a few people who you believe have good judgment.

It is highly recommended that you begin with a warm and positive comment directly to your Bride. Tell everyone how much you love your woman - and don't worry about overdoing it - you can never be too sappy or loving in this speech.

Thank your in-laws for the biggest gift to you - their daughter's hand in marriage. Tell them how your life would be worse off without her - again, don't worry about being too sappy or loving in the speech.

Thank your own mother and father for all they've done for you - love, protection, guidance, etc. Don't worry about tearing up at this point - it actually would be a memorable moment especially to your mom and females in the crowd.

When you are finished, go to your bride and give her a big affectionate kiss. This will no doubt get a round of applause.

The Best Man

Usually you are the one who knows a lot of history about the Groom and are there to support him...and add some levity to his life. You can be a little looser than the groom, yet you should balance between the two extremes of a stiff in a tux telling boring stories that no one cares about and risqué stories about getting drunk. Be careful, balanced, and a touch humorous.

Some concepts about you and the Groom you might explore:

• your bond to him
• your future bond to the Bride
• faithful friend
• loving son
• hard working student / employee
• memorable sports fan
• dedicated and deeply in love Groom

The Maid Of Honor

It is a current trend for a maid of honor to join her male counterpart, the Best Man, in toasting the newlyweds. It is not as traditional as the Best Man toast, however it can be an excellent addition to the celebration.

Usually you are the one who knows a lot of history about the Bride and are there to support her. You can be a little looser than the groom, yet maybe not as loose as the Best Man. Be careful, balanced, and a touch humorous.

Some concepts about you and the Bride you might explore:

• your bond to her
• your future bond to the Groom
• faithful friend
• loving daughter
• hard working student / employee
• great cook
• dedicated and deeply in love Bride

The idea is to enjoy yourself and help build memories for the Bride and Groom. Cheers!

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